Things My Mother Taught Me
(Thanks to Tracy in Connecticut)
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
‘If you’re going to kill each other, Do it outside. I just finished cleaning.’
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
‘You better pray that this will come out of the carpet’
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
‘If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!’
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
‘Because I said so, that’s why.’
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
‘If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.’
6. My mother taught me about the SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS.
‘Shut your mouth and eat your supper.’
7. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM.
‘Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?’
8. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
‘You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.’
9. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
‘This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.’
10. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
‘If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!’
11. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
‘Stop acting like your father.’
12. My mother taught me about ENVY.
‘There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.’
13. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
‘Just wait until we get home.’
14. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
‘If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.’
15. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
‘When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.’
16. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
‘If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up …’
17. My mother taught me GENETICS.
‘You’re just like your father.’
18. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
‘Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?’
19. My mother taught me WISDOM.
‘When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.’
20. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
‘One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.’
Leave a Reply
- The Great Debate – QuickBooks Desktop vs. QuickBooks Online
- Using Account Numbers in Your QuickBooks Chart of Accounts
- QuickBooks Creating a More Meaningful Payroll Expenses Section
- Calculating & Displaying Fringe Benefits on a Certified Payroll Report
- How To Turn On and Use Manual Payroll in QuickBooks
- QuickBooks Tip - Child Support Garnishments
- QuickBooks Payroll Tip - Tracking Employee Advances or Loans
- Create a QuickBooks Job Cost Report With Hours & Payroll Costs
- QuickBooks Tip - Job Costing Starts With A Simple Item
- QuickBooks for Contractors Tip – Basics of Progress Invoicing
- QuickBooks Tip-Creating a Functional Payroll Liabilities Section
- Welcome to the QuickBooks for contractors blog
- QuickBooks Tip: Important Facts About Items Left as Billable
- QuickBooks Tip-Handling Employee Reimbursements for Expenses
- QuickBooks Tip - Determing Cost of Goods Sold
- Straight from the IRS - Social Security Tax Reduced to 4.2%
- QuickBooks 2013 Upgrade Do's, Don'ts & Frequent Questions
- QuickBooks 2015 Announced - Important System Requirements
- QuickBooks 2012 - Frequently Asked Questions About Upgrading
- QuickBooks 2015- The Good, Bad and Ugly, Part 1